Friends

I don't understand why I have to:

(a)grow long hair
(b)get a new set of baju kurung

for my oldest cousin's wedding (congratulations though).

I'll be honored if people did that for my wedding. Just two words though: TAK PERLU

Found a new friend?

Heading to the dumps in about two weeks. Great, can't wait.

--
I would like to think that I'm appreciated for the things I do, but I don't feel it. I feel like shit.

Hello world.

I'm going on hiatus, for an indefinite period of time, to do some soul-searching. You will not find me on Facebook either, as I have deactivated my account.

I hope there won't be too many questions, for I do not have answers.

For now, I would like to exit with thoughts of happier times.




To you, if you do ever read this, you still mean the world to me.
I'll fix myself, I'll be your friend, I'll wait.

Come with me, come with me,
We'll travel to infinity.
I'll always be there for you,
My future love - Gravity's Rainbow, The Klaxons

Goodbye world. For now, at least.

If I lose you, I might as well lose everything.

Hope is a double-edged sword. It can give you strength, it can give you peace of mind, it can give you promises.

It can also destroy you by leaving you empty, high and dry.

Living on hope is a dangerous thing. But it's also fulfilling, provided hope does not let you down.

***

The past can be my undoing. I am well acquainted with hurt, perhaps too well. I have many flaws. I am, after all, only human.

***

I wonder where I stand in your life now.


God, give me strength.

I am tired.
I am hungry.
I am sleepy.

Baby have to do guard duty (out of all the days, today) which leaves me feeling sucky. This seriously suck big time. Gahhhhnocomments. I will say no more..

Fiq gave me a call this morning. Let's just say that somebody's gonna get hurt real bad..

K i feel like screaming right now. 65daysofstatic would do good right now. Or maybe the academy is is good enough..

Dear Mom and Dad,

It's okay if you don't have money to pass to me. It really is. Don't feel bad. I'm waiting for payday too. It's okay if you can't help me out with school financially. It's okay, really. I understand you have the kids' school stuff to account for. I understand you have house bills to pay.

Don't worry about me please.

I watched Fringe yesterday night, and Walter came up with an explanation of life that is so beautiful to me.

He said life shouldn't be viewed as a straight line. It should be viewed as a series of branches, starting from one fork, from which two forks ensue, and from which another two follows, and so on and so forth. He said life presents you with, at least, two choices, and every choice we make determines the path of life we take.

He also said, deja vu is actually you momentarily experiencing that other path you could have taken, should you have made that other choice that life presented you earlier on. Somewhat like a parallel dimension or reality that could have happened, but didn't, simply because of one choice you made.

I read this book called Coincidence several years ago that had a similar concept.

It's about this guy who experiences way too many coincidences on one particular day that he starts to question the meaning of life. And he finds out that coincidences are actually the threads of many different parallel dimensions crossing one another. Like the fringes of other realities merging into one another, presenting a situation that is, well, a coincidence.

It's like when you play bumper cars.

It could be that the author simply took the word coincidence and spun a whole tale based on the definition itself.

But I love how it opens up possibilities and questions.

Anyway, for those of you who don't watch Fringe, you're losing out. Seriously. Next Monday is the season finale already! :(

finished for the semester
(wednesday past)
finished (almost) christmas shopping
need to start christmas baking
(tonight)
this break will be:
drawing and painting and making photographs
(lots, continuation of mouth series)
recording?
(possibly, if i practice)
writing
visiting people
(new england)


there were deer in my yard this morning
as my dad was getting dressed for his second job of the day
i really do love new hampshire

(  a few  )



i need to stop buying cheap pants, because they are cheap
and i think i'm mildly obsessed with dark chocolate oranges

She was just 17;
Pious and pretty with a deadly disease,
And the weight of the world on her prosthetic shoulder.
And by the summer of '96,
Her body was cracked like porcelain.
Just like some precious moments collectible,
In a hospital gown and a big bright golden halo.

And so three cheers for my morose and grieving pals.
And now let's hear it for the tears that i've welled up.
We've come too far to have to give it all up now.
We live lives that are rich and blessed,
And we'll burn for how we transgress.

Now I've mastered the art,
Of the open casket prayer, and the singing guitar.
And I've found the rewards weren't half what I'd hoped for
And meanwhile we all feigned hope and mirth,
As her parents went on and lied to her;
All about the success of the surgeries,
And how my ex-girlfriend was now sleeping with her fiance.

And so three cheers for my morose and grieving pals.
And now let's hear it for the tears that i've welled up.
We've come too far to have to give it all up now.
We live lives that are rich and blessed,
And we'll burn for how we transgress.

If there's any justice in heaven,
Than God won't let me in.
He'll lock the gates and take my weekend pass away.
With a sympathetic wave they'll see me off.
Reserve my golden crown while I am cursed to walk the earth for a millenia.
I know I deserve worse but it terrifies me and I can't take it anymore.

And so three cheers for my morose and grieving pals.
And now let's hear it for the tears that i've welled up.
We've come too far to have to give it all up now.
We live lives that are rich and blessed,
And we'll burn for how we transgress.


Jesse Lacey
Brand New

I had fun and I felt warm and tingly throughout. That was more fun than you can evvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvver have, biba.

Pictures later! Gonna go meet my huffalump(who'll always be my top lov) now. Hehe. Toorah!

ADUHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!

Sometimes I think it's best to just stalk even though you don't have to :D Can't help it; been doing it since I was 15. We're talking pro here.

I think I really started the year on a bad note or else I wouldn't be feeling such dread within my soul. I've got 2 more weeks to live in denial before I dive into the deep end.

ANYWAY (I wish it is with this one word I can make all the bad feelings go away)!

Here's what I did to my POS card:

cos I love you and you love elephants and I like Tanzania.

The next time you're feeling abit down in the dumps, try doing the Mastercard Go dance. It would help if you do it with a friend who is willing enough. Do it do it do it do it for the sake of doing it even.

My appetite has decreased drastically since I fell sick. I ate less than half of my Nasi Ayam Penyet (I usually finish it eh) just now, I couldn't stuff it in anymore.

And my shoulders are starting to hurt again. It really, really hurts.

I miss you.

What's the point of totting a digicam around if you don't take pictures syafssssssss.

Mon, I wanna play with your Photoshop
Mon, I wanna play with your
Mon, I wanna play with
Mon, I wanna play
Mon, I wanna
Mon, I
Mon

HAha that was fun.

--



Drummer looks like My Name Is Earl (I don't know 'bout the rest of you, but I don't just call Earl, Earl. It has to be My Name Is Earl. Cos there might be a lot of Earls out there so I gotta be clear on which Earl I'm talking about, HahA)

They send shivers down and up and down my spine I get goosebumps aaaallllll over.

Ok, WHY aren't I going again?